I love to stalk blogs...not random ones, but people I know...even if I havent talked to them or seen them in YEARS...i love to read about thier lives, adventures, husbands, new babies, etc....
I recently started reading a blog written by a girl who I went to high school with. She just had a baby yesterday but prior to that, I have been reading her updates about her pregnancy and things....A few days ago, she posted about having insomnia and all the things she does when she cant sleep...including how she turns to God.
She included the verse:
"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." _ Matthew 11:28
Let me digress, just for a moment...I am a Christian, I own a bible, and I pray....but i am not as strong in my walk as I should be, I dont read my bible as much as a should, and I unfortunately dont talk to God quite as much as I G-chat...
I have NEVER been one of those people that you hear about...you know, the ones who have a troubled heart and they pick up thier bible and it magically opens to a page that applies to thier current situation...I am more like the person who picks up their bible and then get frustrated because whatever page it magically turned to is about Noah's Ark or something like that...not applicable what-so-ever.
That is why it is such a blessing to me that I read her blog the other day...and recalled that verse. I slept maybe, MAYBE, a total of 3 hours last night. I took some sinus medicine that was supposed to make me drowsy...more like spastic with hyperactive thoughts...as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, my mind began to wander....and then stress set in...
Where will I be in 3 months? What if I cant find a job? How am I supposed to pay rent, eat, pay for a wedding? Why did I go to school for 4 more years to NOT have a job when I graduate? Who should I ask to be in my wedding? How am I supposed to pay moving fees when I dont have a job? Where am I going to move all of my stuff? Is Bradley the right person for me? (yes, he is...i was just stressing to the MAX)...etc etc...the thoughts went on and on from 10 pm-3 am...NO BUENO
Around 2:20 am it hit me...Matthew 11:28....I calmed down, shut my eyes, and began to lay it all on God. All of my concerns, worries, hurt, anger, confusion...I gave it all up to Him...knowing that He has a divine plan that I can not even begin to understand...and while that is stressful not knowing, it is also exciting because I know He will lead me in the right direction, as long as I dont lose hope and trust him with my all. And that is what I plan to do.
I am also not naive...i know that Satan will do his best to break my trust in God...but as long as I remember that and I am prepared for it...It will be an amazing experience.
I just cant believe my first instinct WASNT to turn to God and talk to Him...but I am constantly learning and changing to be more like Him...its a process.
Whitney, life is scarey sometimes...especially when you don't know what is right around the corner. But look at it this way, it's kind of exciting not knowing. The rest of your life in some way or another has been planned out for you. Kindergarten, Elementary, High School, College, School, School, and more School. This is the one time in your life where you have some real decisions to make. Enjoy this time of uncertainty and be comforted by the fact that GOD ALREADY KNOWS where you'll be.
ReplyDeleteLove you lots! And this is coming from the girl who almost moved to Boston and missed out on some great friendships here in Little Rock.
:) God is in control. He knows what He's doing. After all, He got Noah through the flood, didn't He?